First Floor guide
On the first floor of the castle we find that true essential to any centre of magical learning, the Hospital Wing, also referred to by some of our more hidebound faculty members as "San". The more adventurous among you will undoubtedly become intimately acquainted with its every drape and nightstand during your time with us. Poor Matron will, I feel sure, have to learn all your names before your seven years are up.
This floor is also where you may find our Muggle Studies facilities, which are some of the most 'cutting-edge' in the wizarding world, thanks to our long history of championing Muggle rights. Likewise, those looking to delve into the History of Magic have come to the right place, although Hogwarts itself, in practically its every stone, is an ongoing exhibit of that glorious history.
If you're among the lion-hearted, here's where you'll find your head - the Head of Gryffindor, that is. And though it's most unlikely (hasn't happened under our recent Heads, certainly), should we fall under mass assault from a hostile force, here's where you can access the Quad Battlements, in order to repel the enemy.
Oh, and the Stone Bridge also connects to this level of the castle, where you young ladies will find - all you need, if you take my meaning.
Well, I think that's about all. Oh, there's supposed to be a special tapestry somewhere, wish-granting no less. Poppycock, if you ask me. Still, if you want to waste your time . . .